


Second Chances

by sunset_oasis



Series: Innocent Before Yesterday [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: EWE, F/F, F/M, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Long road of angst to forgiveness, M/M, Postwar AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_oasis/pseuds/sunset_oasis
Summary: Blaise had kept carefully neutral during the war, including severing his relationship with the son of a death eater. It had just been too dangerous. Now he watches Theo from across the bar as the man laughs with Draco Malfoy. How do you apologize for running when the love of your life needed you most? How do you ask for a second chance?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR, the summary belongs to Colubrina, Theo belongs to Blaise and all errors belong to me.
> 
> A.N.: Inspired by a summary by Colubrina, which was written for 'Fic you won't write game' on tumblr: colubrina.tumblr.com/post/151257196426
> 
> This fic got a bit out of control. I planned to write a less-than-3k-words fic with 95% angst but it turned into an over-6k-words fic with 50%angst + 50%silliness. A big thanks to anyone reading it.

 

_4 p.m. July 17, 1999_

Theo leant towards Blaise and pressed their lips together. The kiss was forceful yet there was an underlying gentleness beneath the force. Blaise thought it tasted like forgiveness, it tasted like second chances – and it tasted like apples.

 

* * *

 

_5 p.m. October 17, 1998_

Blaise wondered if it was just him, or was the firewhiskey particularly bitter today.

It was the first Hogsmeade weekend after they returned to Hogwarts for eighth year. Three Broomsticks was loaded with students, chattering loudly about the latest school gossips, but Blaise paid no attention to most of them as his eyes focused on the lanky, dark-haired figure sitting across the bar. He felt his heart clench as Theo threw his head back and laughed after Draco said something, looking happy and carefree. Happy and carefree without _him_.

Blaise tightened his grip on the bottle of firewhiskey.

Theo had been pointedly ignoring him since the end of the war. Which, of course, was perfectly understandable. Understandable and even well-deserved, but it didn't mean it didn't _hurt_.

Every time he tried to apologize, every time he wanted to say something, Theo simply swiftly turned away or continued to walk past him – like the way _Blaise_ had been treating him after the first few weeks of their break-up in the seventh year. Blaise tried writing letters as well, but no reply ever came back. He wasn't sure if Theo had even opened the letters or not.

"You're gonna crush that bottle if you grip it any harder," he heard a voice behind him and turned his head. Pansy Parkinson folded her arms across her chest, looking at him disapprovingly.

"Thankfully, it's not gonna be heard over the sound of my heart breaking," he muttered, but put the bottle down. He narrowed his eyes at the unfamiliar jacket she was wearing, "Is that Granger's jacket, Pansy?"

She ignored the question and rolled her eyes at his self-pity comment, "Oh, quit being a drama queen. You'll never best Draco in this anyway. He's got some drama talents that you don't have."

His eyes drifted to the two other Slytherins across the bar, chatting animatedly without him. "Draco's got a lot of things I don't have," his lips twitched into a bitter sneer, feeling hollow and empty as hell.

 

* * *

 

_9 p.m. October 25, 1998_

Draco took a deep breath, closed his eyes and opened them again, and stepped into the Astronomy Tower. He knew Theo had been working on the Herbology project with Granger in the afternoon, but after he hadn't shown up at dinner nor at Slytherin common room after dinner, Draco had started getting worried. After a glance at a sofa where Pansy and Granger had been cuddling, Draco left the Slytherin dungeons and set off to find Theo. He'd searched most of the castle but couldn't find his friend anywhere. Although Draco wasn't keen to revisit the Astronomy Tower this soon after the war, or probably ever, but he was worried about Theo. So he went.

He wasn't surprised to find Theo gazing out the tower window. Theo whirled around after hearing the footsteps, his frowning expression clearly saying ' _I'd thought you wouldn't look_ _ **here**_ _._ '

"You miss him," Draco said softly, eyes on Theo instead of the familiar surroundings that still looked as same as the day Dumbledore had died. It wasn't a question.

"I do _not_ ," Theo retorted, turning back to stare out at the window again. He thought back about that time he and Blaise came up here during their fifth year, gazing at the stars. He bit his lower lips and tried to push the memory away, tried to convince himself that he didn't miss that selfish, self-preserving git at all. Not at all. He was _fine_ without him. _Fine_.

It was a lie.

 

* * *

 

_5:30 a.m. November 8, 1998_

Blaise wasn't sure why he woke up this early. He thought he'd heard something in his sleep. He climbed up and looked at Theo's bed, and found Theo's face contorted in horror – the kind of sickened expression he'd always wore when he'd been forced to cast a crucio on first years. Even after their break-up, Blaise had still, out of habit (or so he told himself), continued to observe Theo's every expression, every single small move.

Theo's whimper was soft, but Blaise felt it cut through his heart like sharp knives anyway. He climbed out of his bed, staggered over to the drawers and picked out a bottle of Dreamless Sleep Potion and a bottle of Calming Draught. Just as he was approaching Theo's bed, the other boy's eyes shot open, blinking rapidly and breathing heavily due to the nightmare he just woke up from. Their eyes locked for the tiniest moment and Blaise felt a jab of pain through his heart.

14 months flipped through an instant. He was taken back to that day, just after their break-up, Theo sneering at him, calling him heartless. And now here he was, thinking back about the memory, as he thought humourlessly that if he really didn't have a heart, why was it hurting so much now? Sometimes he wondered why he didn't inherit his mother's ability to move on through men in such a carefree fashion, never looking back.

Blaise stopped in front of Theo's bed, cautiously holding out the two bottles of potions, "Do you need this?"

Theo snapped harshly, "I don't need anything from _you_." Blaise winced at his sharp tone.

A tense silence fell between them. Neither of them looked the other in the eye, Theo pointedly not looking at Blaise and staring at the wall, his hands still shaking slightly from the nightmare, and Blaise's head inclined downwards at the floor.

"Please at least take some Calming Draught," Blaise's voice broke a little as he pled, "Or I'll tell Pansy you're having the nightmares again."

Theo shot him a very dirty look, before snatching the bottle of Calming Draught away from Blaise, his fingers accidentally brushing across Blaise's. Blaise stiffened at the familiar touch, and shuddered as if he'd been burnt, not noticing the flicker of emotion that flashed in Theo's eyes but was immediately gone.

Theo downed the bottle of potion roughly, and said coolly, "Here, I've taken it. Now _fuck off._ "

 

* * *

 

_8 p.m. September 6, 1997_

Blaise told himself that it was for the best. That it was safest this way. That if he let his emotions get better of him and made the wrong decision, he might be in danger. He needed to tread carefully and remain neutral. He was a Slytherin, and self-preservation was the highest priority to him.

It was a rational decision, but why did he still feel reluctant and unwilling? He swallowed hard and ignored his inside screaming that this was _wrong_ , that he should stay by Theo's side when because his boyfriend clearly _needed_ him. He pushed down all his emotions, all his feelings, and opened his mouth as the words that rolled down his tongue but cut through his heart, "I don't think we should do this anymore."

 

* * *

 

_6 a.m. November 8, 1998_

Theo didn't want to admit it, but the potions did help. Even if it had been brought by _him_. Still, dreaming about crucioing the little kids while watching Neville Longbottom bravely refusing to do the same wasn't the worst nightmare he had. While it was awful and guilt kept nagging him and he felt like he might drown, he'd dreamt about worse things.

Like, the night of their break-up. Like watching Blaise turned away determinedly and leaving him feeling crushed and broken and lonely in the dorm. Like begging Blaise to not give up on their relationship and saying they could just pretend to break up but continue it in secret anyway if it'd make Blaise feel safer.

When these types of nightmares did occur, he didn't whimper or scream or cry, but he felt as if a part of his heart was chipped away. It was like – he didn't cry only because he already used up all the tears. It felt like desperation. It felt like falling down a dark black well and nobody was there to rescue him, when he'd expected that at least his _boyfriend_ would reach out a hand.

It was a _thousand_ times worse than the nightmares that had the Carrows.

 

* * *

 

_9:30 p.m. November 21, 1998_

Luna tilted her head upwards and pressed a kiss on his cheeks when Draco escorted her back to the Ravenclaw Tower. "Still no progress with Theo and Blaise?"

Draco sighed heavily, "No. If Theo had moved on, I won't be pushing them to reconcile and would instead just encourage Blaise to move on, too. But it was clear that Theo still loves him. Hurt and wary but still in love with him."

"It's probably not easy to trust again after being abandoned like that," Luna murmured wistfully.

"Yeah," Draco said softly, "Speaking of trust and forgiveness, I'm still incredibly grateful that you could manage those after I've been a horrible bully for so many years."

She kissed him again, "You're not a bad person, Draco."

"Maybe I'm not anymore, but I _was_."

"You were just a kid," she said gently. "And it's easier for me to forgive because I didn't love you back then. When you love someone, there's always higher expectations – and higher disappointment when the expectation wasn't met."

 

* * *

 

_9:00 p.m. December 12, 1998_

"I'm not saying you should forgive him right away, but I think the two of you should talk," Draco said cautiously, throwing Theo all sorts of worried glances.

Theo didn't reply as he continued to work on his potions essay.

"This … this isn't good for you. I know you're hurting and you're missing him—"

"Draco, pass me my potions notes—" Theo interrupted.

"—and this can't continue," Draco said, a bit frustrated, but he passed Theo the notes anyway. "You can't just … keep bottling up your emotions. I think it might be better if you just go and punch him in the face or something instead of not talking to each other."

"Did I hear wrong, Draco Malfoy the aristocrat condoning such a violent behavior?" Theo raised an eyebrow but still didn't raise his head from his parchment.

"Punching someone does work wonders with emotions though," Hermione smirked as she and Pansy turned to face them. "I've known since third year."

"That's my girl," Pansy beamed proudly.

Draco scowled at the pair and let out an irritated huff. He tried again. "And look, Pansy and I broke up in the sixth year, too—"

"Because she found out she likes girls, not because of the war," Theo rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Draco."

"Though I always thought that Draco's slender fingers are rather feminine," Pansy said with mock seriousness. Hermione smothered a laugh.

"True," Theo smirked.

"Oh, fuck you," Draco snapped.

"Sorry, but _I_ don't like girls," Theo's smirk grew a little wider while Pansy and Hermione burst into laughter. Draco glared at them all.

"Back to the original subject," Draco said sternly, "My _point_ is, this isn't good for either of you and you should …"

Theo went back to working on his essay, paying no attention to Draco's long list of suggestions. Draco sighed.

 

* * *

 

_8:00 p.m. March 14, 1996_

Lying on the grass just outside the forbidden forest and holding each other's hands, they watched the night sky together.

"Something on your mind?" Blaise asked softly.

"I …" Theo hesitated a moment, "I'm thinking about my mom, actually."

Blaise immediately understood. They'd just been shown the thestrals today, and Hagrid had explained that only people who'd seen death could see the thestrals. Blaise hadn't mind the ominous creatures that much – he'd gotten used to them ever since he first arrived at Hogwarts, and he wasn't particularly devastated about witnessing any of his stepfather's death either. But Blaise had seen Theo turned pale at the thestrals appearance and Hagrid's explanation, and he knew Theo missed his mom who died when he had been nine. Blaise pulled Theo closer to him, hugging him tightly, "Theo …"

"Blaise …" Theo said softly, "promise me you'll never leave me?"

"I'll never leave you," Blaise immediately promised, his eyes sincere and his voice earnest.

He did plan on keeping that promise forever when made it, but sometimes, life just took unexpected turns.

 

* * *

 

_3:30 p.m. December 18, 1998_

Blaise had been trying to work out a more subtle way than direct apology, such as offering silent help when Theo might need it, but it hadn't been much success. Theo was managed his schoolwork and friendship well, there really wasn't much chance for Blaise to offer him any help. And after the nightmare incident back in October, he always closed off his curtains and put on several protection spells around his bed while he slept. Maybe he was still having nightmare, maybe he wasn't, but Blaise could never know.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Draco and Luna dragging Theo out of the Slytherin common to go for a walk outside the castle. Theo seemed to be wanting do his assignments first, but relented after Draco's constant pleading and Luna's cheerful insistence.

Blaise wanted to join them. He wanted to follow them. But he continued sitting on the sofa, not moving, as he watched the three of them left. He heard a choked sob before realizing in horror that the sob came from _himself_.

Sometimes he really wished he could be like his mother.

 

* * *

 

_7:40 p.m. December 29, 1998_

Theo _hated_ the Christmas holidays. He hated that he missed spending the holidays with Blaise, he hated that there were no schoolwork to distract him from the loneliness of the empty Nott Manor.

He needed to find something to do, or he would go crazy. Something crazy, impossible, and challenging enough to distract himself from his misery. He considered for a moment of owling Hermione Granger about that freeing all house-elves project of hers.

Then again, maybe not. Pansy would kill him for bringing up this again after she'd finally convinced Granger to take less drastic measures and that not all house-elves were like Dobby.

Then he thought maybe he should go sort out some of the stuff in the storage room. It could use some cleaning up and there were probably things that could be thrown away.

 

* * *

 

_9 p.m. February 5, 1999_

"You've been a little strange lately," Pansy remarked, eyeing up and down at Theo. "Ever since we came back to Hogwarts this semester."

"Have I?" Theo replied absentmindedly, not paying much attention to Pansy. He was feeling a little tired, he thought it was perhaps due to the stress of NEWTS coming later this semester. "I'm going to bed."

Pansy stared at his back suspiciously, "He seemed really stressful and easily tired lately."

"It is the NEWT year, after all," Hermione said uncertainly.

"He might be top of the class like you, love, but he's usually not the paranoid and overstressing type like you."

Hermione huffed, "I'm not _paranoid_ or _overstressing_!"

Pansy laughed and pushed Hermione onto a sofa as she snogged her girlfriend, Theo temporarily forgotten.

 

* * *

 

_12:30 p.m. February 14, 1999_

Blaise didn't know what he was thinking, allowing Pansy and Granger to talk him into going to Hogsmeade during _Valentine's Day_. Every shop they walked past was decorated with _ridiculous_ pink hearts and Blaise felt _sick_. Three Broomsticks had discounts for couples who ordered firewhiskey and they'd even offer it for free for the couples willing to perform a public, 2-minute-long snogging.

Everyone looked so _disgustingly_ in love and Blaise just wanted to hide away somewhere, away from the crowd. His eyes scanned around the bar, and found Luna Lovegood straddling Draco and _feeding_ him snacks. Then, as his eyes moved on to Theo who was sitting beside the happy blond couple, Blaise felt his throat tightened and his heart ached. Every glance reminded Blaise of how much he missed Theo, it was almost unbearable but he couldn't stop himself looking anyway.

Blaise frowned when he saw a watch on Theo's wrist. It looked different than the one he'd seen Theo always wore. In fact, now he came to think of it, Theo seemed to have started wearing this new watch after the Christmas holidays. He'd assumed Theo was still single as he didn't seem to have a date today, but what was the likelihood that he actually wasn't single? Perhaps he planned to meet his date later or something. Perhaps that new watch was a gift from his date.

Blaise was pretty sure that the bitter fury he was feeling right now must be jealousy.

 

* * *

 

_8:30 a.m. March 1, 1999_

"Do you wear that watch even when sleeping?" Draco asked when he saw Theo woke up that day. Even though still in his pajamas, Theo already had his watch on. Draco was rather suspicious of what kind of person wear a _watch_ to sleep. That just seemed … absurd. (He pondered for a moment if Potter wore his glasses to sleep or not, because that image would be hilarious.)

Theo flicked his wrist around and glanced at the watch for a moment. Now that Draco mentioned it, it did seemed … rather strange for him to be doing this. He wouldn't need it when he slept, right? But somehow, after putting on the watch during the holidays, it never occurred to him to take it down. Theo shrugged, "I just … didn't feel like taking it down, I guess." But now, he felt … suspicious of himself, wondering why the strangeness never occurred to him until now. And now he came to think of it, maybe that was why he often felt tired and weak recently …

Draco saw that, behind Theo, Blaise opened his mouth with a jealous expression, likely going to sneer and ask if that watch was from lover or something. Draco threw Blaise a sharp and warning glare, and Blaise paused in the midair before he closed his mouth again and his eyes turned wary.

"Can you take it off, Theo?" Draco asked, now sounding slightly nervous. "Now?"

When Theo tried but couldn't, they all panicked.

 

* * *

 

_10:00 a.m. March 1, 1999_

"Are you stupid?" Pansy screeched loud enough for the whole Slytherin common room to hear, but was quickly silenced by Draco's glare. Then she continued in a lower but still fierce and angry tone, "What possessed you go to your family storage room that you knew fully well contain of some dark artifacts you father owned, and put on a watch found there?"

"I – I needed to find something to do," Theo said defensively. "I needed a distraction and there wasn't any schoolwork—"

"And you couldn't have chosen something less dangerous? Even a house-elves crusade would be better than this!"

Theo remembered how he had been thinking of owling Hermione to talk about her house-elves project, and how he had dismissed the thought because she thought Pansy would've gotten angry at that. And now … _talk about irony_ , he thought wryly.

Hermione was frowning and trying to cast all sorts of spells on the watch to try to find out exactly what was wrong. After a while, she announced, "I have to go to the library," and disappeared.

"What does the '139' means?" Daphne pointed towards the band of the watch where the number '139' seemed to be printed on it.

Theo wondered why he never found it strange that there was a number on the band. Then he also wondered why he had noticed that the number actually went down by one every day but he'd never questioned why. It seemed he had just accepted everything about it without questioning, but that was _really_ out of character of him, considering his curiosity about unknown stuff almost rival Granger's.

"It was 140 last morning," he whispered, cursing himself for never trying to investigate about it. _Why hadn't he?_ "And I remembered it was '200' when I first put it on …"

"In the Christmas holidays?" Draco asked cautiously.

"Yes," Theo replied slowly. "Damn, why hadn't I found this strange before?"

"Seems like some sort of countdown," Luna murmured.

Everyone went silent again, until Daphne's boyfriend Harry offered, hesitantly, "I'm thinking … we should also try the Black Library. I think it has books of a … broader range."

"Thanks, Potter," Theo replied stiffly.

 

* * *

 

_3:00 p.m. March 1, 1999_

They left for 12 Grimmauld Place in the afternoon by floo. (McGonagall let them pass freely after Harry said he wanted to bring his friends to visit his home. Apparently, being the savior of the wizarding world meant the teachers didn't usually question your action.)

Harry and Daphne went first. Then Ron. Then Hermione and Pansy. Theo raised a foot to go next before remembering something very important and whirling around. He glared at Blaise. Theo couldn't exactly explain why, but he felt angry that Blaise was here, seeing Theo's weakest moments where he needed everyone's help. Perhaps it was that Theo had been trying so hard to prove that he was _fine_ , that he was _okay_ he was doing _well_ without Blaise. And now that he wasn't fine, he hated for Blaise to be here to witness it. Anger bubbled up inside him as he glared at his ex-boyfriend, "I didn't invite _you_ to come with us."

Behind them, Draco groaned in a low voice, "Not _now_ , you two." Neither of them paid any attention to him.

Blaise stared back at Theo, looking unsure of how to respond. He bit his lips as if trying to find some words to placate Theo, but when he spoke what came out was a sarcastic "I thought you aren't speaking to me".

A lot of things happened at the same time – Draco groaned and facepalmed himself, Luna's eyes widened in interest as she watched on, Theo's face contorted into a sneer, Blaise looked like he wanted to take back what he'd just said and changed it to something else, something more polite or appropriate, Harry's head popped up the floo as to check on why they were taking so long and then – and then Theo slapped Blaise.

 _…_ _the same time at 12 Grimmauld Place …_

Harry pulled his head out of the fireplace again, blinking in surprise.

"What's wrong?" Daphne asked immediately.

"Alright, mate?" Ron looked worried.

"Uh," Harry paused. "Umm. Nothing. Just – Nott slapped Zabini."

Pause. Ron and Hermione stared at him. Daphne blinked. Pansy cursed loudly, "Fuck, and Draco's _there_ but _I_ missed it? This is so _unfair_."

 _…_ _meanwhile back at Hogwarts …_

Blaise had seen it coming, like a movie in the slow-play motion. He knew he could dodge it – he was certain he was fast and agile enough – but he didn't move an inch as Theo's hand hit his right cheek.

Draco gasped as he thought, ' _While I had been telling you that punching him in the face would be better than continuing to ignore him, can't you pick a different time to do this?_ '

Luna said cheerfully, "Now that's done with, should we get going?"

This time, it was Pansy's head that popped up in the fireplace, "I can't believe I missed it! Theo, could you slap him again?"

 _…_ _the same time at 12 Grimmauld Place …_

"Pansy, budge over, I want to watch too," Daphne tried to get Pansy to budge over but was unsuccessful.

"Could everyone move along? I thought we had something important to research!" Hermione snapped. "Pansy, _come on_! If you kept occupying the fire like that no one can come through!"

 _…_ _meanwhile back at Hogwarts …_

At that moment, as all of them stared at Pansy's head in the fireplace, Blaise just wanted to murder Pansy. They didn't get to stare very long as Pansy let out a loud squeak as her head disappeared again into the fire, presumably being pulled away from the fireplace by someone on the other side. Luna smiled at Draco, "Shall we?"

Draco blinked again before nodding and gesturing her towards the fireplace, "Lady first."

Luna laughed and flooed over. Draco turned to his two best friends as if to say something, but then changed his mind and followed Luna through the fire, while praying for no other incidents to happen.

Theo and Blaise looked at each other in the eyes for the first time in the recent months. Then, in a sharp speed, Blaise grabbed the floo powder in one hand, reaching out to grab Theo's arm in another (ignoring Theo's yelp), and stepped into the fire. "12 Grimmauld Place."

The two of them tumbled out of the fireplace of 12 Grimmauld Place. Draco and Luna were waiting for them, but the others weren't there. "They're already at the library." Draco explained, gesturing in the direction of the library.

"You two go on, we'll catch up later," Blaise said, his hand still on Theo's arm. Theo seemed still a bit dazed by the whole situation as he hadn't tried to shake Blaise off yet. Draco looked at them uncertainly, "But—"

"Draco," Blaise snapped.

"We'll go first," Luna nodded, steering Draco away. "Come on, darling."

Then it was only the two of them. Blaise slowly let go of Theo's arm as the two of them continued to eye each other. After an awkward and tensed silence that made both of them uncomfortable, Blaise spoke hesitantly, his voice unsure and pleading, "Theo – I – please let me stay and help." His voice broke as he continued in a lower, more anguish tone, "You don't need to talk to me or anything if you don't want to … just, let me help with this, please? Let me atone – _please_."

"Blaise…" Theo choked out, not realizing his voice sounded so hoarse before he spoke. He thought of Blaise's touch on his arm just a few moments ago, of how it reminded him of the times they'd been together, of how much Theo missed him –

"Please," Blaise whispered, "I – I miss you. I love you – and – and I'm … I'm _sorry_."

Theo thought about saying no. He thought about ignoring Blaise. But as their eyes met and he found he couldn't deny how much he missed Blaise, too. He couldn't lie to himself and he couldn't pretend that he didn't still love Blaise. He'd been pretending that for so many months but now all the pretense just came crumbling down.

"I've missed you too," he finally admitted.

"Theo…"

"But … I'm not ready yet," he murmured. "I … it's hurt too much before and … maybe one day we could … but for now I could only start as friends with you."

"I'll wait for you," Blaise said very, very softly. "Don't rush yourself into this."

"What if — what if I find that I can't? Or if I meet someone else?" Theo challenged.

Blaise hesitated for a moment and Theo could see a flicker of jealousy flashed through Blaise's eyes before he composed himself again, "Don't overthink it. I'll wait for you and if you – well, I landed us in this situation so it'll be my problem, not yours. Just – take your time. I don't want to rush you into anything. In the meantime just … be my friend, please?"

"I – yes," Theo murmured. And then, for the first time in over a year and a half, the two of them smiled tentatively, hesitantly at each other.

 

* * *

 

_3:00 p.m. March 26, 1999_

They hadn't had much luck in the first few weeks. It wasn't easy to search about an unknown dark artifact that might've been cursed, while preparing for the upcoming NEWTS at the same time. And Theo slowly got more and more easily tired and sick during these time, which worried all of them.

Hermione started talking about asking the adults, or maybe even the aurors for help. Theo disagreed and said no adults would want to help out a Death Eater's son who found a cursed object and put it on, without even being forced or anything. He didn't really believe the Light Side would be interested in helping him – a lot of them might even think he deserved this. Harry offered to try to cash in a few favours he was pretty sure the aurors and the ministry owed him. Draco muttered something like 'the perks of being the golden savior'.

The number on the band of the watch went down day by day, so Harry decided to ask the aurors anyway despite Theo's protest. However, the aurors reacted just like Theo had predicted.

"Stupid ministry," Pansy kicked the leg of a table when they all met in the Room of Requirement that day. Hermione sank into an oddly shaped but comfortable couch as she flipped through all sorts of books and ignored everyone else.

"History was written by the winners," Draco said bitterly. "In their eyes, we are all evil and should be locked up in Azkaban or something."

"Written by winners?" Pansy scoffed, and threw a glance at where Harry and Daphne were sitting. "If so, why doesn't Potter get more say in this? It's not written by winners, it's written by stupid government who just happened to be in power Potter saved the day."

Harry quirked an eyebrow, "Didn't know you think so highly of me, Parkinson."

Pansy threw a pillow at him.

 

* * *

 

_10:45 p.m. April 14, 1999_

Theo rubbed his eyes as he slowly pushed himself up from the table and found that he'd fallen asleep in the library while revising transfiguration. Then he realized that the piece of clothing that had been placed on top of his shoulders while he'd slept was Blaise's jacket. He turned to his right and saw Blaise raising his head from his potions Herbology essay. Their eyes met.

Blaise said softly, "You fell asleep – I didn't want to wake you – you looked tired. We should probably head back to the common room though, it's nearly eleven."

Theo nodded. He hesitated for a moment before saying, "Blaise?"

It still surprised him a little at how quickly the other boy's eyes instantly turned alert as he answered, "Hmm?"

"Thank you."

Blaise visibly relaxed as he returned a small smile, "Anytime, Theo. Anytime."

 

* * *

 

_1:30 p.m. April 24, 1999_

Hermione and Pansy called for a meeting in that day, saying they'd made some discovery. (Though, to be specific, Pansy said "We've made some discovery" while Hermione said "I've made some discovery".) So they all gathered in the room of requirement that afternoon. Their latest addition to the group, Susan Bones, now sat just beside Ron. Everyone found some chair or couch to sit on, expect for Luna and Draco who were sitting on a hammock that hanged from the ceiling of the room.

Hermione launched into a lecture about the countdown curse that had been placed on the watch and how it was designed to kill the wearer when the countdown reached zero, and then a lot of details of why the wearer would feel it natural on their body and not notice anything strange about it. Harry cut her off and suggested they skip the technical details about the curse and move on to how to remove it. Pansy hexed him.

So Hermione moved on to the part about removing the curse. There was a kind of special equipment that looked rather like a mixture of a muggle toaster and a hairdryer from what the picture in the book showed. They had to stop and let Harry and Hermione explain to the crowd what a toaster and a hairdryer each was.

"Wow, Potter, I didn't expect you to know any product that has to do with _hair_ ," a voice commented above everyone from the hammock.

"Moving on," Hermione said loudly, purposely ignoring Draco. Theoretically, this equipment would work, but she wasn't sure where to obtain one. However, she already asked Kreacher to try and see if he could find one in Grimmauld Place. She also stated that although the NEWTS are coming up, they should all try to find this equipment, too because it was really urgent and they only had 85 days, which was less than 3 months. According to Theo's story, he first put on the watch at 8:17 at night on December 29 last year, so every night at 8:17 was when the countdown would go down by one.

 

* * *

 

_8:30 p.m. April 24, 1999_

Theo and Blaise went for a walk out of the castle that night.

"We'll find that equipment, whatever it takes," Blaise said as they sat down on the grass and gazed at the stars.

"I hope so," Theo murmured, though a part of him – a large part – was worrying about they wouldn't be able to find it in time. He tried to not think about dying, but he wasn't having so much faith. Somehow, the pessimist in him worried that things would go horribly wrong. And he didn't like getting his hopes too high because it would be even more soul-crushing when you expected something to work but it turned out it couldn't.

Blaise looped an arm around Theo's shoulders and Theo stiffened, causing Blaise to quickly remove his arm. "Sorry," Blaise muttered quickly and although he tried to pretend it was nothing, Theo could hear the slight tinge of hurt in his voice.

"It's fine, really," Theo said, a bit awkwardly.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything," Blaise said, not looking at him. "Just – take your time."

Theo wondered if they really got that much time.

 

* * *

 

_2:00 p.m. June 12, 1999_

It was already June when Luna acquired the particular equipment from a friend of a friend who she met at a nargles researching program. They were all immediately relieved when they heard of about it, until realizing that getting that equipment to work wasn't as simple as the book Hermione had read implied.

After flipping through the handbook Luna brought, Hermione discovered a few facts about the equipment and the curse. Yes, it could take the watch off Theo … only if they could find someone to _immediately and willingly_ put the watch on. The part about willingly seemed to include some sacrificial magic or something, according to the handbook.

"Fuck, we really should've prepared a plan B," Pansy said when everyone went silent at the shocking reveal.

"Is there anywhere in the book that said anything about the counter resetting itself to 200 when it was moved?" Blaise asked calmly, trying to act like he wasn't feeling like he was free falling on the inside.

Hermione flipped open the book again, then, a few moments later, she said, "No, it doesn't reset. It just keeps going down."

Just like their current situation – going down.

 

* * *

 

_10:00 p.m. June 20, 1999_

"Are we really doing this?" Draco asked again.

"You swore an oath to help me," Blaise said curtly. "Hogwarts Express leaves tomorrow – I'd like to get it done tonight."

"Fine," Draco muttered, waving his wand and casting a silent Stupefy at Theo. Then he shoved the equipment they had borrowed from Granger – claiming to return it after studying it tonight – to Blaise.

 

* * *

 

_8:30 a.m. June 21, 1999_

"Are you crazy?" Theo shouted in the Slytherin dorm that morning. He glared at Blaise's left wrist, wearing that goddamn watch that Theo had been wearing just yesterday.

"Crazy in love, perhaps," Blaise said softly, giving Theo a wistful and self-deprecating smile.

"I thought you said you were the self-preserving type of guy."

"We all grow up, I guess."

 

* * *

 

_10:30 a.m. June 21, 1999_

"Granger," Theo hissed, a lot more vehement than he'd been when it had been himself wearing the watch. "We need to find some way to _fix this_."

"I'm trying!" Hermione hissed back.

"Couldn't Potter try to find a way to force the Ministry to let him go find a prisoner in Azkaban to take over this watch?" Pansy asked.

"It needs the subject to be willing, Pansy." Hermione said impatiently, not looking up from her book. "Come help me to try find another way that doesn't involve this."

"We don't need to tell them what the watch really is!" Pansy argued.

"And you think no one would be suspicious?" Hermione shot back, incredulous.

For the umpteenth time, Theo cursed himself for going into that storage room during Christmas holiday.

 

* * *

 

_1:30 p.m. July 8, 1999_

"Help me stun him and transfer the watch back to _me_."

"I won't …" Draco closed his eyes, "and I can't. I swore an oath – not only to not help you with this but also to stop you from doing anything stupid like this."

"As if transferring the watch to _him_ wasn't stupid?" Theo glared at Draco. The latter had no good answer to that.

 

* * *

 

_3:50 p.m. July 17, 1999_

The glowing number on the band of the watch said '1', and Theo knew it would turn to zero tonight at 8:17 p.m. He looked at Blaise who was lying on the couch and giving him a weak smile. Theo swallowed hard as he asked, hollowly, "why?"

"You don't deserve to die like this," Blaise shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

"And you do?" Theo snapped back.

Blaise shrugged again.

Theo glared at him, "I'd slap you again if we aren't running out of time and I think I shouldn't waste time doing that."

Despite his current situation, Blaise couldn't resist a smirk, "Save it for the next life?"

Theo scowled, "Perhaps I will."

Blaise chuckled, "I'll wait for you."

"Prat."

They stayed silent for a moment before Blaise sighed, "As you said, we don't have much time. We shouldn't waste it."

"Anything you think we should do?"

"Well …" Blaise hesitated, before saying in a quiet tone, his words almost a mumble, "you never said you forgive me."

Theo blinked. He wanted to say that he'd forgiven him for the break-up and distancing during the war, but now that Blaise had transferred that stupid watch to himself he wasn't so sure.

"Please? I guess I just really want to know that before … well," he shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I really am sorry – for everything."

Theo looked at Blaise's dark, pleading eyes and there was really only one thing he could think of to say. "Yes – of course I forgive you."

Blaise let out a relieved sigh before saying, "Kiss me, please?"

Theo did.

He leant towards Blaise and pressed their lips together. The kiss was forceful yet there was an underlying gentleness beneath the force. Blaise thought it tasted like forgiveness, it tasted like second chances – and it tasted like apples.

It would've been a perfect moment if it wasn't interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Hey, just because you're an ex doesn't mean you get monopoly of him during the last few hours," Pansy's voice rang through the door. Theo sighed. He wanted to ignore her but knowing Pansy, it probably wouldn't have any effect. Theo unlocked the door with his wand as Pansy barged in.

"Regretting you had never dated me now, Pansy?" Blaise drawled, while at the same time Theo said, "Not an ex now."

Blaise blinked at Theo in surprise and Theo gave him a smile.

Pansy glanced at both of them in disbelief before declaring, "You two are _idiots_."

 

* * *

 

_8:16 p.m. July 17, 1999_

"I'll miss you," Theo's voice broke as soon as he spoke.

"I'm sorry," Blaise murmured back.

They glanced at each other for a moment before Theo pulled Blaise into a deep kiss, clutching him tightly. Blaise thought that it tasted salty, it tasted slightly bitter, and it tasted like tears – and that was the last thing he felt.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I should get t-shirts made. It's going to say 'I sell my soul to Lucifer and kill my favorite character'.  
> Thank you again for reading this silly and angsty fic.
> 
> find me on tumblr: ff-sunset-oasis.tumblr.com


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